


In the Light of the Moon

by astralfreckles



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, College, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, High School, Mild Sexual Content, Pining, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10022183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralfreckles/pseuds/astralfreckles
Summary: A collection of moonlit moments from Riley and Farkle’s youth, in which they figure out friendship, love, and life together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to @ravendreamer96 and @theperksofbeingabooknerd on Tumblr. A very long time ago, they both suggested that I write a fic based on Riley discovering and coming to terms with her feelings for Farkle. I love you both and hope this makes you proud.
> 
> I put my all into realistically capturing the messiness of life, even pulling from personal experiences at times to portray how complicated friendship and romance can be, while also trying to stay true to Riley and Farkle. This fic really allowed me to focus on Riley and experiment with how she would pine after and slowly fall for Farkle, and let me tell you, it is a great concept. Boy would I love to actually see that someday. 
> 
> For more information regarding how I planned the fic’s theme and where I got ideas for certain scenes from, see the end notes!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading. I can’t explain how grateful I am. ♥

**Prologue**

* * *

 

Change is nowhere near easy, and yet, it's always happening. The moon will forever cycle through different phases with no complaints; it understands the inevitability of its state.

Change doesn’t come as easily to Riley, though, because it’s hard to admit that life’s not as simple as it used to be when she was six and there was no question that her best friend, Farkle, was her entire world. As she gets older, more people enter her world, and feelings become more complicated than just liking the way Farkle’s hand feels in hers. She can’t avoid those kinds of changes forever, and neither can he.

At every stage of Riley’s young life, the moon and its inconstant phases remind her that change is unavoidable. Sometimes the moon brings her comfort, and other times it leaves her longing for the things she’s lost, but in the end, the light of the moon always brings Riley and Farkle back home to each other.

 

**Full Moon**

* * *

 

**_When they’re six, they live in a fantasy world._ **

One day at school, Riley and Farkle’s teacher asks the class what they want to be when they grow up. Riley responds by saying she wants to be Farkle’s wife, and her classmates all burst out in giggles. Riley looks around, not really understanding why they’re laughing, because she did in fact answer the question. The teacher gives her a confused smile and then moves on to the next student. Riley looks over at Farkle and sees a blush covering his cheeks. She doesn’t even really know what being a wife means, but she knows she’s going to be Farkle’s someday.

During recess, Riley finds a white lace veil in the dress up box and convinces Farkle to have a fake wedding. He quickly makes her a purple flower out of construction paper, and after they huddle together under the shade of a big oak tree, Farkle gives her the flower as they say “I do”. Jennifer picks them both up when school is done and chuckles as she congratulates them on their marriage.

After school, they go on a fake honeymoon in Farkle’s kitchen. Jennifer helps Riley and Farkle bake their wedding cake. There’s surprisingly only a few setbacks, like Riley accidentally dumping the first bowl of dry ingredients on the floor, and then Farkle unsuccessfully breaking an egg into the mixture and Jennifer having to fish out all of the shell pieces. Somehow it gets made, and they top it haphazardly with orange flavored icing and pieces of candy. Jennifer cuts them both a slice, and they waste no time digging in. Riley takes a few bites from hers and then brazenly grabs a handful of the cake and shoves it right in Farkle’s face.

“Hey! I like orange, but not this much!” he says, sticking out his tongue to swipe some of the icing at the side of his mouth.

Riley laughs, “This has been the best wedding ever.”

“Riley, you know this isn’t real, right?” Farkle says with his unwavering sense of reality.

“I know,” she answers, drawing out her words, “but that just means we’ll have to do this all over again when we’re old.”

Farkle nods as if her statement is an obvious fact, and then yells, “Wait! We forgot the rings!”

Riley looks around, contemplating what they can use. After looking at the cake, she smiles and pulls off two peach ring candies from the top. She gives one to Farkle and puts one on her finger.

“I’ll wear it forever. I promise!” Farkle says enthusiastically as he puts his on. He looks up a second later to see Riley nibbling at the edges of hers. There’s sugar peppering her lips as she giggles and all Farkle can do is smile.

To them, the promise is real. It’s sweet and innocent and _forever_.

 

**_When they’re eight, they are each other’s worlds._ **

They’re attached at the hip during school, which is most noticeable when they eat lunch together every day. They isolate themselves at a corner table talking about Pluto and the long game. Their teacher has to forcibly split them up during science experiments so they socialize with other kids in the class. Riley doesn’t mind working with other classmates, but they don’t get her like her best friend does.

After school, their favorite thing to do is build pillow forts in the middle of Farkle’s room. His parents make them tea and snacks and they pretend to camp out under the stars on his ceiling. On one particular night, the full moon is high up in the sky as it illuminates the entire room.

“You’re so lucky to have this kind of stuff, Farkle,” Riley says as she looks around his room and lies down on his floor. Farkle’s already lying there with half of his body inside the fort.

“Yeah, I guess. But who needs all of this when I have you?” Farkle asks wholeheartedly.

“I’m not as fun as all of your video games, and I’m not pretty like all the stars up there,” Riley confesses, her voice cracking a little on the last word.

Farkle moves closer to her and leans his head against hers on the rug. He points to a place on his ceiling and asks, “Do you see that star right there, that bright one that’s twinkling?”

“Yeah,” Riley replies indifferently.

“That’s you, Riley. That’s how bright you are.”

Her eyes light up, taking in all of his unconditional love. It makes her feel _special_ , even if she doesn’t know exactly what that adds up to right now. So for now, it just gets cataloged into her memory.

“Well, if that’s me, then you’re the one right next to me,” Riley adds while reaching out to grab his hand. She feels Farkle squeeze hers, as if to reassure her that everything is okay.

“I’ll always be right next to you, Riley, whether we’re down here as humans or up there as stars.”

Riley closes her eyes and says a silent prayer. She prays that this is how they will always be.

 

**_When they’re twelve, Riley realizes that feelings cannot be controlled._ **

It’s a Friday night, and they’re huddled together on the Matthews’ living room couch watching the movie _Bright Star_. Riley explains to Farkle that it’s supposed to be about John Keats, poetry, and romance, and Farkle doesn’t complain. He never complains about her picks because he usually likes whatever she likes.

At the end of the movie, they watch as Fanny Brawne mourns the loss of John Keats. While Fanny moves across the screen adorned in a black dress, Riley turns her head in toward Farkle’s shoulder and lets her tears silently run down her cheeks. Farkle only realizes what’s happening when he feels the wetness seep into his sleeve.

He’s seen Riley cry so many times he can’t keep track anymore, but none of those times she did try to conceal her feelings. There was the time she fell off her bike when she turned a corner too quickly, or another time when she stepped on her favorite princess crown and broke it into a million little pieces. Those times she cried openly and quite fiercely in front of Farkle, so he doesn’t understand why this is different.

“Riley, what’s wrong?”

Still crying into Farkle’s shoulder, she sobs, “It’s not fair. They loved each other.”

Farkle, thinking he’s consoling Riley, replies, “I know. It’s really sad.”

Riley lifts her head up and looks at him with a frown. Slightly annoyed, she replies, “Don’t you see? These were real people, Farkle. They were supposed to _be together_. Their love was so beautiful and for some reason fate didn’t allow it to last. Why does that happen?”

“I’m honestly not sure, Riley. I don’t even know if I believe in fate.”

“I know that you always want evidence. That’s how you think. Well, it’s what brought us together, right? Isn’t fate the reason we’re friends?”

“I don’t really care how or why it happened, because I don’t know if I can explain it. I’m just glad that it _did_.”

Hugging his waist, Riley says, “I never want to lose you, Farkle.”

He rests his head on hers and vows, “You won’t. I’ll always be here.”

Farkle’s hand finds hers in the darkness of the room and their fingers naturally intertwine. As his thumb moves back and forth over hers, Riley feels butterflies form in her stomach.

 _That’s weird_ , she thinks. _It’s just Farkle._

She looks up at him and shrugs it off because, for now at least, it’s avoidable.

\---------------------------

Riley wakes up the next morning not even realizing that they had fallen asleep. There’s a blanket covering the both of them, and she knows that Farkle must have put it over them last night. He’s always thinking about her like that.

As Farkle continues to sleep, Riley takes the chance to observe his sleepy smile, messy bed head, and charming freckles, and all of the sudden, her butterflies come back.

 _Wow,_ she thinks. _I must have a stomachache or something. Yeah, that’s it. I should tell mom._

Farkle leaves after Topanga makes them a light breakfast an hour later, but he forgets his hoodie on the couch. Riley notices it and opens the front door to get his attention, but she immediately stops herself. She closes the door and looks at the hoodie; it’s worn and dark blue, like the night sky. She cautiously grabs it, and after making sure no one else is in the room, she hugs it to her chest. It smells like the laundry detergent his mom uses. It smells like _him_.

 _What am I doing?_ she asks herself and quickly throws the hoodie back on the couch.

Riley stares at it for a good minute and then hesitantly sits down next to it. While her hands play with the sleeve, she thinks back to the things Farkle said to her the night before. She believes him completely, because at twelve, he always means every word he says, and he’s never let her down before. A rush of affection washes over her at that thought, but Riley quickly counteracts it in her mind by convincing herself that any best friend would say things like that. It doesn’t have to mean anything else.

She breathes a shaky sigh of relief and gets up off the couch, leaving the hoodie behind for now.

\---------------------------

On Monday morning, Riley spots Farkle at his locker, but she stops dead in her tracks when she notices what he’s wearing: a black t-shirt, ripped jeans, and his old converse.

This wouldn’t be odd except for the fact that Riley picked the exact same outfit for the day. Farkle notices that she’s staring at him and walks over to her.

He looks her up and down and then teases, “Matthews, this is getting creepy. Maybe we should spend some time away from each other.”

Maya laughs as she walks up to them. She hugs Riley and then says, “What is this, matching outfit day for couples?”

“You just wish you had someone to match with,” Farkle quickly replies.

“No, I don’t,” she yells as she starts walking toward their classroom.

“Could have been me, Maya!” Farkle shouts overdramatically across the hallway.

“No, I don’t think so, Farkle,” she says as she turns back to look at Riley. She gives her a smirk before walking into class.

Farkle furrows his brow and then gestures to Riley to follow him into the classroom. When Riley sits down at her desk, she feels a cool blast of air coming down from the ceiling. She grits her teeth and pulls out Farkle’s hoodie from her backpack.

“Oh, I was wondering where that went,” Farkle says as he tugs at the hoodie.

Riley replies nervously, “You left it at my house, and it’s the first thing I grabbed this morning on the way out. I totally forgot it was yours.” _That’s a lie_ , Riley says to herself. “I’ll give it back after class.” _That’s a lie, too._

Riley would never admit it out loud, but she secretly wants to keep it. She wants to wear it around school so people will think they’re together. She wants to wear it when she goes to bed, pretending he’s right there next to her. She wants it to never lose the smell that is so distinctly him.

Those thoughts hit Riley _hard_ , forcing her to go through the possibilities of what they mean in her mind, trying desperately to work out her feelings.

_It could just be some normal crush. Yeah, that's it. It was bound to happen, but it will go away soon._

“Don’t worry about it,” Farkle smiles, pulling Riley back to their conversation. “You keep it. I have another one just like it at home. It’s just one more thing we’ll have that matches.” The chuckle he releases at the end of his sentence sends a shiver all the way down Riley’s spine. She has no control over it, but she’s starting to think that maybe she doesn’t mind.

 

  **Crescent Moon**

* * *

 

**_When they’re fourteen, they start seeing each other differently._ **

Riley knows it’s impossible for her to deny that she’s staring at her best friend from across her kitchen table. Most nights they do their homework at Riley’s house, and tonight is no exception. In reality, there should be nothing different about this night, but Riley can’t focus even if her life depended on it.

With her chin resting in her hand, she takes note of the changes that seem to have happened overnight. Her eyes are drawn to Farkle’s defined jawline and more apparent Adam’s apple, and while she observes them, she wonders if she looks different to him, too.

“I don’t get this page. I should have asked Smackle about it after class,” Farkle sighs, and suddenly, Riley’s forced out of her trance.

“She was looking at you the whole time today,” she scoffs.

“She’s cute and seems really nice. Should I ask her out?” he mumbles.

 _No._ “I think you should do whatever makes you happy.”

Farkle looks up when he notices the disinterest in her voice. “My happiness is also yours, Riley. You know that. Do you like her? Do you think she would be good for me? This is my first hypothetical girlfriend we’re talking about.”

 _No. No._ “Technically you already have a wife.”

“Technically we annulled that marriage when you ate your entire ring less than a minute later.” He shakes his head as he laughs. “Riley, we’re not in a fantasy land anymore. This is real, and I need real advice from my real best friend.”

“Then, if you like her, go for it. I’m always here for you.” The words taste bitter coming off Riley’s tongue, but she isn’t going to be unsupportive of the person she cares most about, even if it hurts her in the end.

“I know,” Farkle says with a shy smile as he looks back down at his textbook. After browsing the pages for a few seconds, he asks, “Hey, can I borrow your highlighter?”

“Sure,” she says, clumsily searching for the highlighter in her pencil case. She finally finds it, and when she extends her hand toward him, his fingers graze hers in the exchange. The warmth Riley feels makes her breath hitch. She stares wide-eyed at her hand, and then lifts her head up to look at Farkle. He seems to be captivated by the touch as well judging by the way he’s staring at his hand.

When Farkle lifts his head up, Riley shies away from his gaze and focuses her attention on her textbook instead. Even as she pretends to skim the words on the page, she can feel him staring at her, making her whole face flush.

“I also need a, uh, pen,” Farkle utters, the words coming out uncertain.

Trying to play it cool, Riley calmly answers, “No problem.” This time, after finding the pen, Riley sees that Farkle’s hand is already extended, as if he _wants_ to touch her again. She hesitates, afraid that she won’t be able to contain herself this time, before deciding to place the pen on the table and slowly push it over to Farkle. Before she can withdraw her hand, though, Farkle quickly covers it with his own, causing Riley to gasp.

He turns Riley’s hand over so her palm is facing up and observes it like he’s conducting an experiment. She takes deep breaths in and out through her nose as his fingers softly trace the lines on her palm. Every touch ignites sparks that travel all the way up her arm and into her chest, making her heart scream _more_ , _more_ , _more_. But Farkle removes his hand then and looks directly at Riley.

“That’s new,” he breathes, sharing the findings of his experiment with a tone of astonishment.

Unable to form a full, coherent sentence, Riley let’s out a quiet, “Yeah.”

“I don’t mean new like it’s a bad thing—”

“—No,” she interrupts loudly, and then in a softer voice, she continues, “I know.”

“Just,” Farkle pauses to bite his lip, thinking about his next word, before he repeats, “new.”

After realizing that an understanding has been formed between the two of them, Farkle nervously looks Riley up and down from across the table and goes back to doing his homework.

There’s no doubt in Riley’s mind that if Farkle didn’t notice the changes in her before, he most certainly does now.

 

**_When they’re fifteen, they act like nothing has changed, until that’s not possible for Riley anymore._ **

They visit Topanga’s for a late night hot cocoa run and decide to sit down outside, surrounded by shimmering lights and the cool, night air. The crescent moon’s light still persistently shines down on them despite being deluded by the city lights.

Riley plays with the lid of her cup for a few minutes as her drink cools and then cautiously takes her first sip. She smile as it warms her up and looks over at Farkle, who is also preoccupied with his own drink. The silence between them is strangely unnerving to Riley, and in that moment, she can’t think of anything to say. So, she hastily takes another sip but winces as the hot cocoa burns her tongue. She purses her lips and puts her drink down on the table, leaving it there.

Farkle takes a sip from his hot cocoa and licks his lips as he places it down on the table. Riley can’t help but notice that his lips are glistening after, and it makes her gulp. She wants to stare at them, but she won’t let herself. She recalls the other day at the kitchen table and figures if she couldn’t control herself then when it was just their hands touching, she has no clue how fast she would lose it if there were lips involved.

But Farkle is making it damn near impossible for her because he won’t stop doing it. He licks his lips again and Riley let’s out a heavy sigh.

“Why do you do that?” she says, voice full of frustration.

“Do what?” he replies obliviously.

“That lip thing. Have you always done that?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t even notice I was doing it.”

Riley clears her throat and says, “Well you do it a lot.”

“And you know this because, what, you’ve been staring at my lips or something?” Farkle replies jokingly. Riley freezes, wide-eyed, and Farkle immediately picks up on what her answer to the question is. Riley anxiously grabs her hot cocoa, figuring the sweetness of it might counteract the embarrassment she feels from the moment. As she take a sip, she hears Farkle softly say, “Riley, confess something to me.”

“Hm?”

“You haven’t kissed anyone yet, right?”

“No, of course not. I would have told you. You would too, right?”

“Yes, we’ve always promised to tell each other about important things like that.” Farkle stops, contemplating his next words carefully. He looks down at the table as he continues, “But maybe for this important thing, we don’t have to tell each other.”

“Why?”

Farkle slides his chair over so it’s closer to Riley’s and suggests, “Because maybe for this one, we can just experience it together instead.”

Riley holds her breath, shocked at her best friend’s idea. She searches his face for any sign of sarcasm or humor, but finds none. “Do you really want to?” she asks quickly, having no success at hiding her nervous excitement.

“Do you?” he asks back, his voice cracking on the last word. It comforts Riley to know that he’s just as nervous as she is.

Riley nods and reassures him, “It’s just to see how it feels.”

“Right,” he agrees anxiously.

“It doesn’t have to be anything else.”

“Exactly.”

They both look behind them toward the front entrance of the café, checking if there is anyone else around them, and when they realize they’re alone, they both lean in at the same time and let their lips lightly graze each other’s. They pull back, a little unsure of themselves, but then Riley moves in again, pressing her lips more firmly against his this time. She hears Farkle gasp and her heart flutters wildly inside her chest. When they break away, Riley takes in the sight of Farkle with his eyes still closed and his mouth open, panting slightly. She feels dizzy with all of the emotions running through her, and she realizes she wants this. She wants this _a lot_.

 _But it’s just Farkle_ , she says to herself, remembering the last time she made that claim. But this time, the taste of him is on her lips and the butterflies in her stomach are non-stop. It forces her to admit, _No, it’s not just Farkle. Not anymore._

Farkle finally opens his eyes, and his voice is quiet as he says, “Wow.”

“Wow,” Riley echoes.

Her world is never the same.

\---------------------------

A few day later, Riley’s sitting on Maya’s bed doing homework when she suddenly recalls the kiss. The words and numbers in her textbook become a jumbled mess in front of her eyes as she starts to feel a tingling sensation on her lips. She runs her fingers over them and remembers how soft Farkle’s lips were on hers and how awestruck he was after he opened his eyes. Riley replays the entire scene in her mind and starts laughing uncontrollably.

“Why are you laughing?” Maya asks, looking at Riley like she’s crazy.

Riley stops laughing enough to say, “Because I’m in love with my best friend.”

“There it is,” Maya says knowingly with a smile.

\---------------------------

After a revelation like that, Riley knows she can’t go back, so she embraces the butterflies she gets when thinking about Farkle’s smile or eyes or pretty much anything having to do with him.

As she enters school the next day, she spots Farkle in the hallway before their history class, but he quickly turns around and bolts into the room. As strange as it seems, Riley doesn’t think much of it until she notices that throughout class, he faces forward, only giving her a quick smile every now and then. It’s disconcerting, especially after the kiss they had just shared only a few days earlier, but she convinces herself that maybe he’s just having an off day. It’s only until class ends when he nervously looks her way and then leaves the classroom without a word that she recognizes his behavior as avoidance.

The thought paralyzes her for a second, but then her legs start working again and she’s suddenly running after him, cornering him at his locker as he opens it up.

Out of breath, she asks, “Farkle, why are you ignoring me?”

“What do you mean? Riley, I’ve just been busy.”

“Since when do we lie to each other?”

Farkle snaps, “Maybe ever since you said that you didn’t mind if I went out with Smackle.”

“What?” Riley chokes. That’s not at all what she expected him to say.

“You think I couldn’t tell?”

“What are you trying to say, Farkle?”

“I’m not totally sure yet, but I feel like it’s something important.” Farkle looks down at his feet and huffs, clearly frustrated with his current lack of eloquence. “Look, Riley, I’m sorry. I’m just a little confused after that kiss.”

“I thought you liked it.”

“I did,” he whispers.

“I did, too,” she whispers back.

“That’s the problem, though. The kiss was supposed to be just that, a kiss. Best friends aren’t supposed to feel more, right?”

A breath catches in Riley’s throat and becomes ensnared by his words.

 _Problem._ Gasp. _Kiss._ Gasp. _Best friends._ Gasp.

It’s wrong. Riley knows it’s wrong because she _does_ feel more, but his eyes are staring into hers, desperately begging for agreement, and it leaves her defeated. She finally releases the breath and gives up trying to convince him.

“Probably,” she responds callously.

Farkle worries his lip and turns his head to look down the hallway. Smackle is standing in front of her locker and waves once they make eye contact. Farkle waves back and then turns to Riley who’s now giving him a questioning look.

Farkle explains quietly, “Smackle asked me out this morning.”

Holding back tears, Riley lets out a controlled yet upset, “Oh?”

“And I think I should say yes.”

Insincere words uncontrollably spill out from her mouth in response. “That’s great. That’s really good. Definitely good. I’m happy for you.”

“You know, Riley, you asked me when we started lying to each other, but you’re the only one who’s lying here.” Farkle turns around and slams his locker shut. Then, he turns back to Riley and admits, “And you’re not very good at it.”

As Riley watches Farkle walk down the hall, moving further away from her and ever closer to another girl, she knows that something between them has changed forever. And when she sees them turn the corner, walking side by side, she wonders how much easier it would have been if he had just felt the same way.

\---------------------------

She doesn’t hear from Farkle all night, but when she sees him walk into school the next day hand-in-hand with Smackle, she knows why. She doesn’t want to look, but she can’t help the way she stares at them. Lucas and Zay pat Farkle on the back, congratulating him and smirking at each other as he continues to walk past them. Farkle and Smackle look so happy walking down the hall together, and for a moment, Riley thinks that maybe she could be genuinely happy for Farkle. But then she catches sight of their perfectly interlaced fingers, and it reminds her that not too long ago, her hand was the only home his knew.

Riley looks down at her open hand and watches as the lines on her palm beginning to swirl together as tears pool in her eyes, and she realizes, _I’ve been replaced._

She makes her legs run as fast as they can to the nearest bathroom and collapses on the floor in the last stall. Cradling her knees to her chest, she cries, unapologetically and loud. Maya finds her there not too long after and sits with her through their entire lunch period, holding her close and softly shushing her as tears stream down her face.

Unfortunately, Riley is by herself when another wave of emotions hits at two in the morning. Alone in her dark bedroom, Riley sits at the bay window and muffles her sobbing so she doesn’t wake her parents. She looks out the window and tries to find solace in the soft glow of the crescent moon, but grey clouds fill the vast night sky, hiding its light, and its absence only deepens her loneliness.

As the days go by, Farkle and Smackle’s affection for each other is all she can see. Every little movement catches her eye, from the way he pushes her hair behind her ear to the way she stares into his eyes. Even though it makes her stomach churn, when Riley’s conscience begs her not to resent her best friend, she thinks for a brief second that she may be able to let go of her bitter feelings. But then she looks at the two of them, and she smothers the thought. Every single time.

 

**_When they’re seventeen, Riley learns how to play pretend._ **

Riley can count the times that she and Farkle interact every month on one hand now. Mostly it’s for school projects or family gatherings. She doesn’t object when teachers pair them up for assignments or when her parents invite the Minkus family over for dinner. She doesn’t want to explain what happened between them, and she doesn’t want to admit that she’s torn up inside by it.

She decides to push those feelings aside, which becomes easier when Nathan, a guy from her political science class, suddenly comes into her life. They work together on a few class projects and seem to hit it off well, so one Friday afternoon, Riley doesn’t hesitate when he asks her out on a date.

Nathan’s tall with light brown hair and blue-grey eyes. He shares an uncanny resemblance to Farkle, but there’s one very clear distinction to Riley: Nathan doesn’t have freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks like Farkle does. It’s her favorite thing about Farkle, so she’s almost glad they’re not the same in that respect. The resemblance is just enough to satisfy her imagination but not nearly enough for her heart.

They plan their first date to be at Topanga’s, and when they walk in together, Riley’s eyes immediately spot Farkle sitting at a corner table. Farkle makes eye contact with her, a brief smile forming on his face, but then his eyes travel to the boy standing next to her and his whole demeanor changes. His smile is completely wiped off of his face. It must be because she didn’t tell him she was even going on this date. There have been a lot of things left unsaid between them recently.

“Here, dearest,” Smackle says, interrupting the moment, as she walks up to Farkle. She hands him a cup of tea. “It’s chamomile.”

Riley rolls her eyes. _He hates flowery teas. Shouldn’t she know that by now?_

“Uh, thanks honey. This is great,” Farkle says as he takes a cautious sip of the tea. He tries to hide a cringe as he sets the mug back down on the table, and Riley stands there, immersed in her own thoughts as she watches the scene in front of her play out.

_So is that what a relationship is supposed to be? You're just supposed to pretend that you know each other and not mind when you realize you actually don’t?_

She just doesn’t get it.

“Riley, do you want me to order something for us?” Nathan asks as he walks over to an empty table.

Riley follows him and sits down at the table. Then, she leans in close to him with her chin resting on her hand and answers, “Not right now. I just want to get to know you.” To him, her eyes are probably dreamy, and her smile must seem charming, but it’s only because that’s what she _wants_ him to see. That’s what she wants _Farkle_ to believe when he steals a glance over in their direction every couple of minutes.

The rest of the date goes by fairly smoothly, and Riley even admits to herself that she’s having a good time. She loosens up a little after Farkle and Smackle leave and is able to fully listen to what Nathan is saying. Riley finds out that they have quite a bit in common, or at least enough to stay at the café all night until her mother politely suggests that Nathan walks her daughter home before curfew. Riley gives her mother an annoyed look and mouths, _come on,_ but Topanga just chuckles softly and guides them both out the door.

Standing under the pale moonlight, Nathan hugs Riley as they say their goodbyes at the end of the night. It feels nice, mostly because it’s something new and he feels warm, and even thought the hug is not familiar like Farkle’s, she knows Nathan is kind and makes her feel wanted. So when Nathan asks her to be his girlfriend, she says yes and learns to move forward.

\---------------------------

It’s fun for a while. Riley and Nathan go through the motions, doing what couples are supposed to do. They hold hands, share quick kisses in between their classes, do their homework together at Topanga’s, and go on dates every weekend, but they don’t last.

They break up on a sunny Tuesday in the hallway after school. There’s no anger or sadness, because it’s mutual; it’s inevitable. They don’t break up because of some missing spark or constant arguments. Something was missing, but Riley never figures out exactly what it was. Despite all of that, it doesn’t make it hurt less. She had grown fond of Nathan over the few months they dated, but he was never going to be the one for her. She knew that from the start.

Maya and Topanga sit with Riley and let her talk out her feelings, and they do comfort her, to an extent. Riley’s thankful to have people who care about her, but she knows that she’s selfish in wanting just one more person to be there for her: Farkle.

She doesn’t call him, though. She doesn’t need to, anyway, because he finds out immediately.

The day after the break up, Farkle looks on as Riley and Nathan awkwardly smile at each other and walk through the hallway in separate directions. After that, she knows that Farkle understands. He knows what that means.

Riley goes to Topanga’s after school that day and does her homework alone. Topanga brings her some bulochki and kisses her forehead before she gets started.

Riley’s so focused on her work that she doesn’t hear Farkle walk through the door. She only notices his presence when the couch dips as he wordlessly takes a seat next to her. He smiles at her before taking his backpack off and pulling out a large binder.

“You looked like you were having trouble in organic chemistry today,” he says sympathetically. Riley doesn’t immediately entertain his invitation and instead chooses to maintain a puzzled expression. Farkle coughs nervously and then asks, “So, is it okay if I sit here? I can help you if you want.”

“Where’s Smackle?”

“I told her I couldn’t meet with her tonight.”

“Look, Farkle, I don’t need your pity.”

“I know,” he interrupts. “But what you _do_ need is your best friend.”

Riley tilts her head to the side and asks, “You’re not really here because of the chemistry homework, are you?”

“Now you’re catching on,” Farkle says as he wraps his arm around Riley. He pulls her in close so her head falls onto his shoulder. Then, he quickly adds, “but of course I’ll still help you with it if you want.”

In that moment, Riley laughs, and it feels _good_.

\---------------------------

Farkle and Smackle’s breakup happens unexpectedly, or maybe it just seems that way to Riley because she has been so absent in Farkle’s life recently.

The day that it happens, Riley finds him sitting outside her bay window, eyes closed and head leaning against the window pane. It’s nearly ten at night and Riley had just come back from a family dinner at a restaurant down the street. She doesn’t know how long he’s been there, and he doesn’t say why he came when she opens the window, but Riley takes the hint from his red, puffy eyes and pale complexion. He looks exhausted, so she helps him into her room and lays him down on her bed.

He kicks off his shoes and burrows into her sheets. As Riley closes her window, she hears him muffle his sobbing into her pillow. Riley slides into the bed next to him and Farkle instantly gravitates closer to her. She wraps her arms around him and holds him like that all night, letting him cry into her neck until there are no more tears left. After a while, his crying is replaced with light, rhythmic breathing, and it makes her feel at peace. She feels her eyes get heavy, but before she closes them, they drift back to the window and see the crescent moon peeking out from behind a cloud.

In the morning, Riley wakes up to the feeling of Farkle’s heart beating in time with hers. Her legs are spread out over his and his arms are wrapped around her waist. She guesses that sometime in the middle of the night, they switched positions. Even when he’s the one hurting, Farkle still instinctively protects her. At that thought, she’s suddenly overcome with feelings for him, making her nuzzle into his chest.

Farkle’s eyes slowly open at her movement. He looks around her room and asks in a raspy voice, “Do your parents know I’m here?”

“Probably not.”

Farkle hides his face in between Riley’s hair and the pillow and sighs, “I don’t want to get up yet.”

“We can stay here as long as you want,” Riley softly says. She looks at her door and then adds, “Or until my parents come barging in and discover the two of us in my bed.”

It makes him chuckle, and that sound is all Riley needs right now. It reminds her that they’re a little bruised, but not broken. She feels like high school took something away from them, like it left them a little less whole. But she knows they’ll be okay, because in the end, they will always still have each other.

 

  **New Moon**

* * *

 

**_When they’re eighteen, they collide in the most beautiful way._ **

College comes faster than anyone expected, but Riley felt ready even before the first day of classes. She, Maya, and Farkle had all made a pact to go to NYU together, with Maya being her obvious choice for a roommate. Lucas and Zay decided on NYU as well and sign up for a suite with Farkle. Having all of her friends around her quickly made even a new place feel like home, but what has always felt most like home to Riley, of course, is Farkle.

They spent the whole summer together, learning each other all over again and making up for lost time. This continues into the beginning of the school year through late night conversations and spontaneous adventures.

“Where are we going?” Riley asks. Farkle is holding her hand tightly as he guides them to their destination for the night.

“We’re going stargazing to celebrate getting through our first week of college,” he says happily, pulling her in the direction of a large open field by a small pond. As they walk, Riley notices the benches surrounding the area are filled with a few students. It’s not the most popular location on campus, but it seems to have grown on some, especially when it is warm out like it is on this night.

“Are we going to get in trouble for being out here so late?” Riley whispers, as if someone is going to hear them in the wide open space of the field.

“Are you telling me you still haven't gone through your rebellious stage yet?” Farkle teases. She smirks and helps him lay out a blanket when they stop by a large sycamore tree. Farkle drags his hand across the tree and then looks up at the sky. “Do you remember when we used to stargaze in my room?”

“Of course, but that seems like so long ago now.”

“It was,” Farkle says frankly, but when he notices Riley’s pained face, he quickly shifts the tone. “Hey, let’s do something fun.”

“Such as?”

“It’s wild, Riley. I don’t know if you’re up to it.” She lifts an eyebrow and waits for him to continue. “Let’s get tattoos.”

Riley opens her mouth in shock and blurts out, “Are you crazy?” But then Farkle laughs and holds up temporary tattoos of the planets, and her face softens. “Do you enjoy giving me a heart attack, Farkle?”

“I don’t know, Riley. Do _you_ enjoy it?”

She blushes and grabs the tattoos out of his hand. “No Pluto, right?” she asks in disappointment.

“No,” he frowns, “so what else is good enough to grace Riley Matthew’s skin?”

“I know it’s not a planet, but let’s go with the moon.”

“Why do you want that one?”

Riley looks up at the thin crescent moon above them, and Farkle copies her movements, peering up into its light.

“A new moon must be coming soon,” she predicts.

“Yes, and with that, the phases will continue,” Farkle adds.

Riley sighs, “The moon is beautiful, but I’ve always thought that she must be lonely. The earth is right there next to her, but she’s only allowed to circle him. Never to meet, never to touch.” She catches a glimpse of Farkle out of the corner of her eye and sees that he’s silently contemplating his next words.

“Maybe the earth is afraid,” Farkle says apprehensively. “Maybe he wants the moon closer, but is afraid to take the risk. Maybe it would mess everything up.”

Riley suppresses a gasp and asks, “We’re still talking about the moon, right?”

“Yeah, of course. What else would we be talking about?” Farkle clears his throat and continues, “So, where do you want the tattoo?”

As he’s peeling off the clear sheet above the design, Riley looks over her shoulder and pulls down her sleeve so her skin is exposed. “Here,” she says quietly.

Farkle gulps and lightly grazes her bare shoulder with his fingers. He stares at it a little too long before turning around and preparing the tattoo. He wets a towel using a thermos he brought with them, presses the tattoo paper onto her skin, and dabs the towel on top to make the design transfer. After a few seconds, he lifts it up and takes a look at the picture.

“I think it came out pretty well,” he says and then blows softly on her skin. Riley shudders at the feeling as he continues, “You should get one for real one day.”

“Really?”

“Totally.”

Farkle hesitates before speaking again. “Riley?”

“Yeah?” she breathes.

Farkle’s fingers find their way back to her shoulder, tracing the outline of the tattoo, as he asks quietly, “Can we pretend that nothing bad would happen if the moon and the earth collided? Just for a minute, can we pretend we’re not just best friends?"

Farkle grips her shoulder for support as he leans in closer to her, and then he lets his parted lips graze ever so slightly over hers, wordlessly showing her what he wants. Riley takes hold of Farkle’s face with both of her hands and kisses him like she’s never going to get the opportunity again. Her whole body sings as his mouth moves against hers, sweet and slow. She wishes her lungs could hold on just a little longer, but she needs to break free from the kiss to breathe, so she reluctantly pulls back.

Even without his lips on hers, she feels Farkle’s presence all around her; the only thing she can hear is the sound of his light panting, and the only thing she can feel are his fingers brushing over the back of her neck. His hand moves lower, back to her shoulders, and Riley is reminded of the tattoos that are now abandoned on the blanket.

“Farkle,” Riley exhales, “we didn’t do your tattoo yet.”

“Oh right,” he chuckles breathlessly, resting his forehead on hers.

“Mars?” she whispers against his lips.

“No,” he objects, “I think I’ll go with Earth.”

She can feel Farkle’s lips form a smile before he pulls away and reaches for the sheet of paper. Riley stares at him in awe as he gathers the items he needs for the tattoo.

It’s just a kiss, but within that one kiss, Riley tastes the Milky Way and touches the stars. It blows her mind and instills a sense of hope in her, and she won’t let that go so easily.

\---------------------------

In the days that follow their moonlit kiss, they interact just like they did when they were younger: as close as ever, but with far more lingering touches and longing stares involved. Riley’s actually quite amazed at how seamlessly they transition into this new dynamic, somewhere in the middle between friends and more.

Through spending all of their time together again, Riley finds that her favorite moments with Farkle have never been the grandiose ones. The moments she loves the most are quiet, calm, and usually just the two of them.

On a seemingly uneventful Tuesday night, as they sit on Riley’s dorm room bed doing homework, she knows that this is one of those moments. Maya is out working on her newest painting in the school’s art studio, so Riley and Farkle share the room is silence, attempting to complete their work.

“I can’t focus anymore,” Farkle suddenly blurts out in a defeated tone after working relentlessly for a solid three hours. “Maybe I’ll just take a nap. Wake me up in like twenty minutes.” He turns to lie on his stomach and groans into Riley’s pillow. Riley lets out a soft chuckle and gives up on her homework as well, lying down on her side next to him.

After a minute of stillness, Riley thinks Farkle has fallen asleep, but then he turns to grab his phone from the nightstand. With his back now facing Riley, he shifts on the bed, and his shirt rides up the slightest bit. Riley takes the opportunity to stare at the exposed skin, secretly at first, but then she calls attention to it.

“I’ve always liked these freckles on your back,” she says affectionately.

“It seems like there are always new ones showing up,” he laughs.

“You mean there are ones I’ve never seen?” she asks, playing with the hem of his shirt. When Riley’s fingers accidentally brush against Farkle’s skin, he turns his head to look at her, and Riley holds her breath. She feels like she’s been caught, but Farkle seems to catch on to her curiosity and plays along.

“Here wait, I think—” Farkle stops mid-thought as he sits up and takes his shirt off. He places it on the bed and then looks back at Riley who’s staring intently at him. He lies back down on his side facing away from her like before, and with Farkle’s gaze now averted, Riley wastes no time scanning his figure. “I think there’s a cluster of them here now that form the Big Dipper,” he continues. He reaches around to his back and points to a place in between his shoulders.

“You’re right!” She shouts enthusiastically, and not even really thinking about what she’s doing, she places her hand on his shoulder and trails a finger down his back and over the freckles. Farkle shivers at her touch and turns around quickly to face her.

“You sound so fascinated,” he smirks.

“I truly am. They’re all unique.”

“Hey, didn’t you tell me once that you have some kind of cool birthmark?”

“Yeah, one that’s shaped like a heart.”

“Really? Why have I never seen it?”

Riley fiddles with the sheets underneath her and answers, “Well, it’s on my hip.”

“Oh. I guess that’s why,” Farkle replies awkwardly.

They stare at each other, both of them realizing that something in the atmosphere has changed, and that something is now very different. Farkle moves closer to Riley, his feet brushing against hers when he settles into his new position.

“It’s silly,” Riley says.

“Can I see it?” Farkle asks, his fingers already latching on to her shirt.

Riley nods and Farkle lifts it up just the slightest bit to take a peek. His fingers sweep over the skin there and he teases, “I don’t see anything. You’re obviously lying.”

Riley bites her lip at his touch and looks up at him. She hesitantly takes his hand in hers and moves it to where her shorts begin before whispering, “It’s lower.”

Farkle’s fingers fiddle with the rim of her shorts and Riley’s stomach is suddenly bursting with butterflies, feeling like they are trying to break free and take flight all at once. Riley closes her eyes, and with her hand still covering his, his fingers start to slip under her shorts. But before they can go any lower, the jarring sound of the door opening halts their movements.

Farkle is so startled that he practically falls off the bed. Riley yelps, in surprise and frustration, but puts on a smile as Maya walks into the room. She curses at herself in her head for not locking the door.

Maya notices their positions and sees how flustered Riley looks from the blush across her face, but ignores it and jokes, “Is anyone else sick of this hot weather? Where’s autumn, am I right?” She exaggerates a laugh at the end and then adds, “Hey Farkle, I think Zay was looking for you.”

“Oh, I f-forgot. I was supposed to help him with something,” he lies. “Thanks for reminding me. See you guys later.” He picks up his shirt and gives Riley a quick glance before rushing past Maya and out the door. Maya watches him with wide eyes as he leaves and then turns her attention to Riley.

“Riley, what just happened here?”

“What do you mean?” she says calmly, trying to tame the heart that’s beating wildly in her chest.

“Are you really going to be that way after what I clearly just saw?”

Riley figures it’s no use keeping up an act. She immediately loses her composure and explains, “We were just messing around, talking about freckles and birthmarks, but then we both…and he almost…”

“He almost…” Maya echoes, anticipating the rest of the sentence.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what was going to happen,” Riley huffs, and the rest she mumbles under her breath, “but what I do know is next time, I’m definitely going to remember to lock that damn door.”

 

**_When they’re twenty, Riley’s reality is changed forever._ **

They’re on the top floor of some old apartment right off campus because Maya convinced everyone that going out to a “small gathering” on a school night was a good idea.

The small gathering turns out to be a crowded party filled with 20-somethings and one hell of a liquor collection. The music is so loud that Riley can feel it vibrating all throughout her body, and as they walk through the apartment, Zay is the one to discover the table situated with all different kinds of alcohol. They all take a few shots each and keep moving.

They make their way through a narrow hallway that leads into the main room, but there’s so many people packed into the space that Riley’s practically hovering over Maya in front of her, and Farkle’s undeniably pressed up against her from behind. Riley suddenly feels Farkle squeeze her shoulder, and he’s so close to her that when he leans in to speak, his lips accidently graze her ear.

Her gasp is lost underneath the sound of people talking, but she can surprisingly still hear Farkle when he says, “I’m going to find the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” When she turns around, she sees that he’s already maneuvered past the crowd of people and out of the hallway.

Maya and Lucas, already tipsy, grab Riley’s hands and pull her into the next room, a small living room with a few couches around the edges. They make her sway back and forth to the music with them and persuade her to try the nachos the host made. They hold her hostage like that for a good ten minutes, and Riley’s practically keeled over in laughter at their ridiculous movements and silly facial expressions when Zay finally comes to her rescue.

Zay leads Riley away from the center of the room where everyone is dancing and into a corner. “I thought they would never let me leave!” she laughs.

“Just wait until you see Lucas dance after he has a few more drinks. It’s absolutely hilarious,” Zay explains.

Riley looks back and sees Maya jump up and down over and over to the music. “It seems Maya is the same way,” she smirks. She blinks rapidly as she looks around the room, her head already starting to swim from the alcohol, and asks, “Zay, have you seen Farkle?”

“Yeah, he was in the back room when I saw him last.”

Riley thanks him and makes her way toward the back of the apartment. When she enters the room, she immediately finds Farkle, not because he’s wearing his favorite bright orange t-shirt, but because it’s just second nature for her eyes to drift to his figure. She doesn’t immediately process the girl sitting next to him, but after a second of adjusting to the dim lighting and hazy atmosphere, she can see just how close the girl is to him.

Riley discovers that the girl is practically sitting in Farkle’s lap, obviously flirting with him as her hand lingers on his thigh, and he’s doing nothing about it. She turns her body more toward Farkle, wraps her arm intimately around his shoulder, and giggles in his ear, and _he does nothing to stop it_. If Riley didn’t know any better, she would swear there’s even a smile on his face as they talk about god knows what. She inconspicuously watches the two of them from across the room and scoffs, because the way Farkle’s letting it play out, he might as well be enjoying it.

At that thought, Riley stops and looks at his face, _really looks_ , and the thought consumes her. Maybe he _is_ enjoying it.

 _But then where does that leave me?_ Riley asks herself.

Riley can’t stand to look them anymore, so she goes to look for Maya. She finds her back in the room they were dancing in before. Riley walks up to her and starts explaining what she had seen, but just then, Riley notices the girl from the other room drag Farkle onto the makeshift dance floor that’s already full of people. Riley turns back to Maya with an apologetic smile and asks, “Come dance with me, please?”

Maya looks over Riley’s shoulder, and after seeing Farkle and the girl, she understands. So she grabs Riley’s hand and says “Of course, honey. Anything you want.”

They move toward the middle of the room and sway back and forth to the mellow music playing. Riley leans against Maya as they dance, but her eyes never leave Farkle. She glares at him and this girl who’s carding her fingers through his hand and pressing up against him as they move together. She can tell Farkle’s had more to drink since he separated from the group by his closed eyes and languid movements, and Riley assumes that’s why he doesn’t even notice she’s there in the room.

Riley watches the way their bodies move together and knows that _she_ wants to be the one pressed up against him. She’s half tempted to go up to him and do just that, because honestly, she doesn’t understand why he would want to dance with that girl anyway. She doesn’t know what his dreams are or how he feels about his family. She doesn’t know his favorite songs or worst fears. She doesn’t know who he is at all. But Riley knows everything about him, or at least, she thought she did.

Riley can feel the tears pooling in her eyes, so even before the song finishes, she wordlessly lets go of Maya and leaves the room.

Now standing alone in the middle of the dance floor, Maya calmly walks over to Farkle. She gets in Farkle’s face and growls, “Forget this girl. Go find Riley.”

Farkle opens his eyes, and after he takes a minute to get used to his surroundings, he sees the anger in Maya’s expression and nervously nods, mumbling a quick apology to the girl he was dancing with. He doesn’t look back as he makes his way out of the room, and after searching the entire upstairs, he finally ends up by a bathroom door in a small hallway.

He knocks and hears Riley’s voice say, “Um, someone’s in here.”

“Riley, it’s me,” Farkle says through the door.

There’s some shuffling inside the bathroom and then he sees Riley open the door slowly. Farkle makes his way in and shuts the door behind him. The bright bathroom lights let him get a good look at Riley’s face, and he can see that there are fresh streaks running down her face, formed by very recent tears.

“Riley, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she replies dismissively.

“Yeah, that’s convincing,” he says sarcastically.

Riley sits on the floor with a sigh, and Farkle follows suit. “Oh okay, so I’m assuming we’re going to pretend like some random girl wasn’t all over you just now?”

Confused, Farkle clarifies, “The one I talked to for a while? I didn’t even know her name.”

“Really? You didn’t think it was necessary to get acquainted with her before allowing her to straddle you?”

“Wait, what’s happening right now? Are you mad at me?”

“No.” Riley continues, wavering, “I don’t know.”

Farkle affectionately tucks Riley’s hair behind her ear and says, “Riley, we’ve known each other our whole lives. There are no secrets between us.” _Except for me being in love with you_ , Riley thinks to herself. “You can talk to me about anything.”

“I can’t,” Riley whispers. “Not this.” She shivers at the coolness of the bathroom tiles underneath her and bites her lip, which draws Farkle’s attention lower on her face.

“Oh, I think your lipstick is smudged a little,” Farkle says as he moves closer to her. He reaches out and brushes his fingers over her lips, and then he pushes harder at the corner to clean off the extra lipstick. His hand stays there, resting on her cheek, as they stare at each other through alcohol-clouded eyes. Riley savors the warmth of his hand, but it’s not enough. She needs _more_.

The alcohol gives her the confidence she’s always wanted, making her feel brave enough to push Farkle back toward the wall behind him and climb on top of him. She straddles his legs, and Farkle closes his eyes as Riley’s body applies pressure where it matters most. Farkle’s hands instinctually grab onto her hips, and his head falls back to rest on the wall.

“I can do the same thing as her,” she whispers.

“Riley, I would be lying if I said that this doesn’t affect me, because it definitely does. God, it does.” His grip on her hips tightens as he speaks, but then he lets go and continues, “But you’re my best friend. You are the person I trust the most, the one that I care about the most. We shouldn’t do this, especially with alcohol in our system.”

“Can we please stop playing this game, Farkle?”

“What game?”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. One minute you’re kissing me under the stars, and the next you’re entertaining some other girl’s affection. Now, you’re telling me you feel something between us but won’t allow yourself to discover what it is.” He gives her a look that goes right through her. She feels it deep down in her gut. It’s a look that proves he knows _exactly_ what she means. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I want—”

“What do you want, Riley. Right now, what is it that you want?”

“Right now? I want to feel _wanted_ , Farkle,” she declares, realization hitting her in that exact moment as the words come out of her mouth. “And I know exactly what to do to get that.”

Riley reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone. She takes a final look at Farkle and gets up, dialing a number as she opens the bathroom door and leaves Farkle alone on the floor.

\---------------------------

Riley knows Maya is staying with Lucas and Zay for the night and won’t be in their room, so she calls Nathan. They’ve seen each other on and off ever since high school; he also stayed in the city, close to home. He comes less than an hour later and enters Riley’s dorm building hesitantly, but Riley leads him into her room, reassuring him not to be nervous. As they walk through the threshold of her room, she wastes no time pressing her lips against his. They scramble on the way to her bed, and when Riley pulls them both down on to it, Nathan lands on top of her.

Her hands are in his hair and his breath is on her neck, and she tries to convince herself that it’s exactly what she wants. Except deep down, she knows it’s not. His movements and her body’s reaction match what she has fantasized about, but the details are all wrong. There’s something off about the smell of his clothes and the feeling of his lips. Her brain is working overtime to compensate for the differences, and that’s why she doesn’t hear the knocking at her door or the quiet click of it opening.

“Riley, I just got a call from Maya. She wanted me to see if you’re okay, but—”

Nathan’s lips brush over Riley’s neck and she stops her gasp midway on an uptake of breath. Her head sharply turns to the side to see Farkle, mildly horrified, standing completely still in the doorway. Riley swears that behind the shocked expression, there’s just a hint of resentment hiding somewhere in his eyes.

“What’s he doing here?” Nathan asks crudely. His arm wraps possessively around Riley’s body, but Riley pushes her way out of his embrace and gets up off of the bed.

“I don’t know. Don’t worry about it,” she whispers to Nathan reassuringly. Then, Riley walks toward the door to where Farkle is standing. “Farkle, I obviously don’t need your help. Sorry you had to waste—”

Riley is left speechless when she sees Farkle walk away, not even bothering to stay and hear what she has to say.

She turns back around with a fire burning inside of her, and her lips latch back on to Nathan’s, but now the only thing she can think about is Farkle. All she pictures is how good it would feel if it was _his_ lips on hers and _his_ hands in her hair.

Riley wishes she could go back to when everything was so simple between her and Farkle. She wishes she didn’t eat that stupid ring when they were six. She wishes she didn’t know what kissing him felt like. She wishes she didn’t realize what those butterflies meant so long ago.

She wishes she wasn’t in love with him.

Nathan’s lips reach Riley’s collarbone, and as she arches her back up, the night sky comes into view outside her window. She instinctually searches for the moon, trying to find comfort in its familiarity, but it’s nowhere to be seen.

\---------------------------

Riley waits exactly an hour after Nathan leaves to call Farkle. No niceties, no greeting. She doesn’t have the energy.

“I know you’re probably mad at me, but I really need my best friend right now.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Farkle answers immediately, hearing the distress in her voice. He doesn’t bother changing from his sweats and rushes out the door.

Ten minutes later, Farkle enters the dark room to find Riley lying on her bed in an old t-shirt. He sits down next to her still body and sweeps her hair to one side. He feels dampness on her pillow, realizing she’s been crying.

Keeping her face hidden in the pillow, Riley starts, “Nathan—”

“Did he hurt you? Riley, I swear I’ll find him.”

“No, Farkle,” she quickly interjects, but then the words she speaks next are full of caution. “I was okay with everything we were going to do.”

“ _Everything_?” he says with exaggeration, questioning the connotation of the word.

“ _Everything_ ,” she whispers back.

His mouth opens slightly in shock, and he whispers, “Did you?”

“No. I couldn’t do it,” she whispers back.

“Riley, would that have been your first time?”

She nods as a tear falls down her face. Trying to lighten the mood, Riley jokes, “Looks like we’re still the only virgins left out of everyone we know.”

“Riley, Smackle and I…you had to have figured out that Smackle and I…” his words trail off, not confident enough to finish.

“You’re not a virgin?”

Farkle shakes his head no, and Riley tilts her head down, tears streaming uncontrollably from her face. Her head is spinning, and she feels like everything is going wrong. In the back of her mind, Riley always hoped it would be the two of them sharing all of their firsts together, just like their first kiss.

“Riley, Smackle and I had been going out for years. It’s not something we jumped into. We talked about it and then it took some getting used to each other and—”

She curls her body into a fetal position as she interrupts, “Please, Farkle. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“You asked, and I’m just trying to explain.”

“And now I realize it was stupid of me,” she replies in a bitter tone.

A silence falls over the room except for the soft sound of Riley trying to hold back her tears. Farkle puts his hand on Riley’s back to comfort her and continues, “Riley, I think we should talk about why me being intimate with someone else upsets you so much.”

Riley sits up on the bed and faces Farkle. “We promised we would tell each other about things like this. You didn’t keep your promise, and now I feel like a fool for keeping mine.”

“I was going to. I would have, but we weren’t really talking at the time. It wasn’t a good time for us.”

“Right, because _she_ was more important to you then.”

Farkle pauses, realization appearing on his face before speaking again. “You’re jealous.”

“What?” she blurts out.

Awestruck, he repeats, “You’re jealous. You can’t handle thinking about someone else being that close to me. You can’t deal with the fact that someone else got to see me like that, in the most intimate way. But what you’re most jealous about is that it wasn’t you,” and the next part he adds in a whisper, almost quiet enough to go unheard, “that it wasn’t _us_.”

Defensively, Riley responds, “I don’t know why you think I care so much. I just don’t want to hear the details. Anyone would be like that.”

“You know why you care so much? It’s because what we have is real, Riley. Our friendship, and whatever this is that we’ve been avoiding for years, _it’s real_. Do you know how many people get to have what we have? Not many.” She looks up at him then, finally allowing her eyes to meet his. Farkle continues, “You believe in fate, right?

Riley nods and quietly asks, “After all these years, do you finally believe in it now?”

Farkle keeps his eyes locked with Riley’s as he contemplates his next words. He takes in a deep breath and says, “You know what I believe in? You. _Us_. I think we’re a glitch in fate’s system. Our lives are intertwined in a way even fate couldn’t see coming.”

His words are enchanting, something Riley’s only ever dreamed of hearing him say before, but she won’t let herself believe it’s real. She won’t allow herself to believe that she could be one step away from having what she’s always wanted.

She shakes her head in denial and asks, “How am I supposed to sit here on this bed where I almost just lost my virginity and talk to you about _us_ and _being intertwined_?”

“Like this,” Farkle says as he pulls Riley into a tight hug. She melts into him, and Farkle uses that as an opportunity to pull them both down onto the bed. He kisses her forehead gently before pulling the covers over them. After they’ve both settled under the covers, Riley closes her eyes, waiting for sleep to come, but then she hears Farkle’s voice. His words are soft and quiet, but in the stillness of the room, Riley hears them loud and clear. “I love you,” he breathes.

Riley’s eyes open wide but she feels like everything else on her body is paralyzed. For a moment, it’s as if her voice disappears, her heart stops and her mind empties, with nothing but those three words running through it over and over again. But then she opens her mouth, and the words she’s wanted to say for so long spill out in the most stunningly effortless way.

“And I love you.”

When Riley closes her eyes again, she tunes into the way she feels in Farkle’s arms. Even just his embrace sets her body on fire. Even just _his words_ make her feel more alive than the whole time she had Nathan moving above her.

She wants him to know exactly how he makes her feel and tell him all the things she was always too afraid to, but for now, a declaration of love is definitely a good start. She knows there will be plenty of time for the rest.

 

**_When they’re twenty-one, a new discovery is made between them._ **

It’s their last week of classes before graduating, and Riley still hasn’t accepted that they’ll be moving on to the next stage of their lives.

She doesn’t know how she would have gotten through college without Farkle. She’s thankful for him, for everything he has always been to her, and for what he’s become within the past few months. Everything gradually fell into place once they both stopped avoiding the fact that they work perfectly for each other, as friends and as more.

But even with Farkle by Riley’s side, the impending change haunts her, so much so that some nights, she can’t sleep.

Riley wakes up in the middle of the night in Farkle’s arms. She opens her eyes with a strangled breath, startled by a nightmare, and when her mind is finally able to readjust to reality, she takes in her surroundings. She notices how dark it is in the room, and when she peers out the window, she understands why. The moon isn’t visible; from her bed, she can only see a few stars gently shimmering in the sky.

Riley turns her head and notices that she’s lying on her side next to Farkle with her head nestled under his chin. His arm is sprawled out over her waist and his legs are intertwined with hers. Riley moves her head back slightly to look at Farkle’s sleeping face and smiles to herself. She carefully tries to shift her body as not to wake him but unintentionally gasps when she feels a hardness pressed up against her leg. Riley’s hand grasps at his shirt, and Farkle, half-asleep, unexpectedly pulls her even closer, making Riley have to stifle a whimper into his neck.

“You okay?” he mumbles sleepily.

“Are _you_?”

Farkle doesn’t immediately get her question, but when he finally becomes aware of what’s going on, he moves his lower body away from her. He groans as he covers his face in embarrassment, and then he teases, “Your lips on my neck aren’t helping the situation, you know.”

Riley smirks and asks, “Were you having a nice dream?”

Farkle laughs to himself while grabbing onto Riley’s waist and answers, “Yeah, want me to show you how it went?”

“Please,” she begs as she climbs on top of him, and when their bodies meet, she closes her eyes and sighs.

Farkle leans up to capture her lips and admits, “I like having the taste of you on my lips. I always did, even though I never told you.”

Riley tucks away that thought to relish later and focuses on the feelings he’s giving her now. Despite sharing a few small, brief intimate moments since their relationship evolved, she’s never felt like this before. Every touch is intensified. His hands on her back, his tongue grazing her lip, and his hips rising up to meet hers are taking complete control over her, drawing out noises from her that she didn’t even know existed until now.

Farkle senses the difference in her reactions, and after pulling away to breathe, he notes, “This is new.”

Riley, panting slightly, disagrees, “In a way, it doesn’t seem like it is, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I know that you’re ticklish here,” she says, running her fingers behind his ear, “but what if I do this instead?” She leans down and kisses the spot, letting her lips linger on his skin, and Farkle moans as he digs his fingers into the back of her shirt. Riley lets out a soft chuckle in response and confesses, “We know each other so well.” Stunned by how true her words are, the thought sends shivers down Farkle’s spine, and his shoulders tense as the sensation goes through him. Riley continues, “You know every pattern on the palm of my hand, and I know how to map out the freckles on your back. Now, we get to discover these things in a totally new way.”

Riley watches as Farkle’s blue eyes sparkle with intrigue at the idea, and after a few seconds, he sits up and uses his fingers to trace a section of skin hiding under her shirt. When he reaches her rib cage, he looks up at Riley and lays both of his hands flat on her bare skin. Farkle gently guides her off of his body and onto her back, and once their positions are switched, he covers her entire body with his. Riley feels his lips brush lightly over hers, just enough to make her go crazy, and just enough to make her legs instinctually wrap around his waist, before pulling away.

“Speaking of discoveries, I still haven’t gotten to see this yet,” Farkle teases, hooking his finger into her underwear and ever so slightly pulling it lower. He stops when Riley’s heart-shaped birthmark comes into view. “You weren’t lying!” he says in amazement.

Riley opens her mouth to protest Farkle’s disbelief, but her words are lost in a sigh when he places a kiss on her hip where the birthmark is. Impatience taking over, Riley lifts his chin up so his eyes meet hers and says, “No, I wasn’t, and here’s something else I’m not going to lie about. _I want you_.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

“Then you have me,” he surrenders, tugging at her shirt. When Riley sits up, he adds, “Now,” accentuating the words by pulling her shirt over her head, “and always.”

Riley lifts his shirt off his body and kisses him hard. She pulls him back toward the bed with every single feeling she has every felt for him following her down. And as they explore each other underneath the sheets, even the fumbling is perfect to Riley, because it’s the two of them. It’s a little awkward, a messy but beautiful combination of kisses against thighs, heavy breathes transferred between mouths, and an overwhelming feeling building up low in her stomach, but it’s _them_.

As the sun starts to come up, Farkle holds Riley as she trembles in the aftermath. Still locked in his embrace, she realizes the moon wasn’t visible in the sky that night because _Farkle_ was her moon, orbiting all around her, encompassing her completely.

\---------------------------

The next morning, Riley and Farkle sit at a table isolated in the corner of their favorite on-campus café. They smile and lean in close to each other as their friends look on from across the room.

“Jeez, you’d think they just discovered each other,” Zay jokes while nudging Lucas, knowing he agrees.

Smiling, Maya observes Riley and Farkle and replies, “As crazy as it sounds, in a way, I think they did.”

  **Epilogue**

* * *

 

**_When they’re twenty-four, Farkle gives Riley the moon._ **

“Farkle, what are we doing?” Riley asks, sitting next to him on the kitchen floor of their new apartment.

He holds up a bag of peach ring candies and smiles. “I wanted to bring you back to a time when you had no doubts that it would be us in the end.”

Riley smiles and leans in to kiss Farkle. It’s romantic and lingering, and when Riley finally breaks away from the kiss, she keeps her eyes closed with her forehead leaning against Farkle’s. She sneakily reaches for the bag, but Farkle pulls it away and smirks.

“I want one,” Riley whines.

“Say you love me first,” he whispers.

“I love you. You already know that.”

“Say you’ll spend forever with me.”

“That’s the only future I have ever seen.”

“Do you mean it?”

Riley moves just the slightest bit forward, pressing her lips to Farkle’s once more, and then reassures him, “Of course.” Farkle pulls away, and Riley adds, “Can I have one now?”

“Yes. I’ll find you a good one,” Farkle laughs. He rummages through the bag for a few seconds and then teases, “But Riley, I’m letting you know right now that I don’t think you’ll be able to take a bite out of this one.”

Farkle holds up a silver band adorned with a single, circular opal. Riley’s gapes in wonder at the ring, and Farkle takes hold of her hand and slides it onto her finger. He explains, “It reminds me of the moon and the stars. It reminds me of _you_.”

“Farkle,” she breathes.

“Forever?”

“Forever,” she echoes.

Farkle had captured the moon for Riley, with all of its beauty and complexity. Within the ring, he gave her the full moon, frozen in time and comprised of every memory they’ve shared together. Every smile and every tear, every promise and every embrace. She’ll carry them with her forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s some extra information about the fic if you’re interested!
> 
> 1\. "Progression of time" fics, or fics in which the characters grow up and you see moments throughout their lives, are my absolute favorite. Most of my all-time favorite fics are in this format, so I am really happy that I finally completed one of my own.
> 
> 2\. Even though the moon doesn’t actually change and the appearance just seems different to us because of its position in relation to the sun, I wanted to romanticize the idea of “change” and the “moon” and form a connection between the two. I was particularly inspired by the line Juliet says in the balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet: “O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.”
> 
> 3\. This is a brief breakdown of my thought process for the theme of the moon phases: The full moon represents Riley and Farkle being fully present in each other’s lives. It’s a time of innocence and playfulness. The crescent moon demonstrates how life throws them around and makes them land in different places as they grow up. They are still in each other’s lives, but not as much as before. The introduction of Maya, Lucas, Zay, and Smackle in this section alludes at the idea of Riley and Farkle not being in “their own little world” anymore. The new moon symbolizes Riley’s loneliness without Farkle and longing for him when he drifts away from her. She wants him, but she can’t have him, and the empty night sky cruelly reminds her of this. 
> 
> 4\. The peach rings candy idea comes from the music video of one of my favorite songs, Bu Hui Ai by Fahrenheit (which translates to Can’t Love/Won’t love, depending on interpretation).
> 
> 5\. _Bright Star_ is a beautiful movie depicting the intense but short-lived romance between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, and it actually does pain me to know how in love they were before John died young.


End file.
